Friday, August 28, 2009

Trump Issues

Dear Donald Trump,

You know I've always been here for you. I've defended your hair and your money and watched your Apprentice shows and loved every second of them. The Trump towers are on my list of places to go. I want to meet you and smell you, just to see if you smell like money. I want to be an apprentice just so you can fire me.

Our relationship has been perfect...until now.

Why oh why did you agree to have Heidi Montag perform at the Miss Universe pageant? Had you ever actually heard her sing? Or seen her music videos? You should fire whoever suggested she perform, and then fire the person who asked her, and any other human being who facilitated in her appearance. It made your pageant look tacky and unprofessional. And I can't see how you expected anything different. Seriously. People call you "The Donald". You should know better.

Even Anderson Cooper was disappointed:

And a full performance (blurry but the best one I could find). Props if you can make it all the way through.

I just hope you never make the same mistake again. And if you invite her (or Spencer) to be in your next TV show, I'm leaving you. For good.



Elizabeth said...

Respectfully, I think you've got this all wrong. The Donald is a genius. Who would be talking about the Miss Universe pageant if it hadn't been for that Heidi girl? Certainly not Anderson Cooper! The Donald is a true businessman. He knows what he's doing; there's no need to second-guess him. :)

Chrissy Renae said...

i made it through 48 seconds and then threw up in my mouth...