Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Adultack

Sometimes I forget that I'm an adult and growing up and making big decisions.

Why I'm currently having an 'Adultack':
(adult+attack=adultack. i just made it up, nbd)

A. I hate dogs. That is not new. It is old news. BUT when I went to get my handicap sign for my car (I'm disabled!) I was pulling into a parking spot and lo and behold there was a dog standing right where my car was headed. It was eating trash. It would not move for a hot minute and I was considering just going for it. One less dog? The world would a better place.

BUT then I stopped. I waited. It was a little dog so I couldn't really see if it was gone until I looked to my right and saw it standing there. I pulled forward. The dog lived. I'm full of charity.

B. I go to the dentist. And my dentist is LEGIT. I haven't ever loved going to the dentist as much as I do now. I went to my appointment last week and the dentist and his assistant got excited to see me. Now, it may just be an act, but I think they really DID miss me. Also, and this is weird a little bit, but after every appointment, my dentist will call to make sure everything is going well with my teeth. So random, but entertaining. Because I'm always like "Who's number is this?! I recognize it" and then its my dentist. I'm popular.

C. I have bunions. I mean bunion. And I drive those electronic carts around grocery stores. But sometimes the batteries run out on those carts when I'm at the back of the store and I haven't finished my shopping, so I'm left to try and manage my way through the store with a handbasket and my crutches, looking both ridiculous and more 'special' than I already am. So embarrassing. But people are very helpful here.

D. I read biographies...well, autobiographies. I'm looking at you Jay-Z! And Bob Barker.

E. I fall asleep watching movies. And sometimes I snore.

Reasons I'm still not an adult:
A. I love Justin Bieber

B. I still hope all dogs die

C. I fear all responsibility



1 comment:

Jill said...

I thought that said I hate hot dogs until about 60% of the way through that paragraph. Then I stopped thinking, "what does this have to do with hot dogs?" and realized I had misread. I admit it when I'm wrong. That's adult, right?