Thursday, January 2, 2014

2013

What?  You want to read another New Years post that includes a summary of the year prior and hopes for the year ahead?

I thought so.


But first, let me drive to the nearest 7-11 for a beverage.  I've never wanted anything as bad as I want a beverage from 7-11 right now.  At 11 pm.  On a Wednesday.  (it's Wednesday, right?  I'm not so sure any more).  And I want this to be good.  BRB.


Ok. I'm ready now.

(me, James Dean, my drank, and some cleavage (yawelcome))
(not pictured: Pringles)

Generally speaking, this past year was the most normal, average year I've had in awhile.  For the first time in several years (like 10), I did not move to another state or country.  I stayed living in one place for an entire 365 days (well, i did move to a different part of the city, so technically i did move, but 15 miles is nothing). I feel like this is probably normal and expected for most people, but as I've learned, I am not most people.

If I'm being honest, it was terrifying to me.  Staying in one place, where I have to face real life situations, fears, and insecurities, was the last thing I wanted to do. Which is why I made 2013 the year to do it.  I became so comfortable packing up my life and creating a new one that I think I was forgetting how to nurture myself, deep down.  Not to discount the growth I experienced in the last few years at all (because, let's be honest, the last few years were ballin'), but to allow myself the chance to really approach life in a way I hadn't.

Those feelings of running away haven't been easy to suppress.  Every few months I get a little antsy and I think that it would be so much better to just get up and leave again. For the first time in my adult life I don't need to look for jobs and send out resumes, but I still find myself on job boards looking at what else is out there.  And you guys, I really actually love my job right now.  I've never really loved a job like I love mine.  It's so weird.  I'm so weird.  

I'm fighting the urge to leave because I'm finally beginning to learn the power of consistency.  I'm learning that some things take time and that's ok.  I don't need to change everything in my life to find an answer because sometimes I just need to wait.

The power of waiting. Some call that patience.  I call that very difficult.

I went through 2013 without chopping off my hair or going to another country, and I survived the consistency.  I don't know if I can say that I loved it. But I did it.  And that is a big deal to me.

Now for 2014:

2 comments:

Katie Chandler said...

I'm feeling it! This is the first time I've ever been at a job for more than two years. Though I initiate some sort of change every year to hold back my millennial tendencies.

Rachel said...

Dear Cindy,
I love you and your blog.
That is all.
Xoxo, Rachel