I went to my very first vegan restaurant a couple weeks ago.
It mostly happened because my friend wanted something somewhat 'healthy' and I figured the local Dairy Queen wouldn't qualify. It was his birthday, after all, so I pulled up Yelp to try to find something that wouldn't taste like dirt.
The place I found had rave reviews. I was sold: the citizens of Yelp made me feel secure.
But boy oh boy, did I lose my trust in humanity that day.
Walking into the restaurant felt foreign to me...the walls were too clean, the employees too hipster. Yet, I continued on. The man at the front was very helpful when I told him I was new to this and that I needed some suggestions. He mentioned a few things but quickly added, "But seriously. Everything is so good here". I picked one of the specials-one of the dishes he said by name. He had a pretty killer beard, so I wanted to believe him.
Moments later, our meal arrived. During the wait I had been sipping on some of their lavender lemonade, which was actually pretty delightful. It kept my hopes high and my hunger even higher.
I don't remember the name of the food I got, but it was some kind of food.
I started eating and kept asking myself if the food was the problem, or my taste buds. At what point do people start thinking flavorless food is delicious? I didn't get it then, and I don't get it now.
Unusually, I didn't finish my meal but offered the second half to my friend. He liked it.
And since I signed up to be a part of their 'club' in order to get the lemonade for free, I had to instantly unsubscribe to their emails as soon as I got home. Because homie ain't got time for that.