Fordpride

Sometimes I forget that I'm an adult and growing up and making big decisions. Why I'm currently having an 'Adultack': (adult+attack=adultack. i just made it up, nbd) A. I hate dogs. That is not new. It is old news. BUT when I went to get my handicap sign for my car (I'm disabled!) I was pulling into a parking spot and lo and behold there was a dog standing right where my car was headed. It was eating trash. It would not move for a hot minute and I was considering just going for it. One less dog? The world would a better place. BUT then I stopped. I waited. It was a little dog so I couldn't really see if it was gone until I looked to my right and saw it standing there. I pulled forward. The dog lived. I'm full of charity. B. I go to the dentist. And my dentist is LEGIT. I haven't ever loved going to the dentist as much as I do now. I went to my appointment last week and the dentist and his assistant got excited to see me. Now, it may ju...

I have a brother named Donald. But everyone calls him DoFo. True story: I went to the high school to meet up with someone when I was home last year. As I walked by the room of one of the most popular teachers in the school, Mr. T saw me and called me into his class. He does things like this. His opening statement (to his class): "How many of you know Do-Fo?" EVERYONE IN THE CLASS RAISES THEIR HAND. Mr. T: "This is Do-Fo's older sister" Class: "Whoaaaa...whattt???? Cool." Just one example of how Donald basically rules the school. (Sorry Donald...) Anyways, Donald sends me the best text messages. I save them in my phone because they make me laugh. But I thought I'd share the joy. Here we go: "So some guy just called to ask if dad was single because some lady down at the temple wanted to know. Guess he was asking for her" "So I was walking from math to the bathroom, it was still passing period, and this random girl fame up and gave me a...

Bam suckas. Looks like its going to be a great season of Celebrity Apprentice . With Gary Busey, Lil' Jon, Meatloaf, the deaf actress that I really only recognize from that episode of Seinfeld (the lip reader), and that chick from one of the housewives shows...we are sure to get some good times in the upcoming weeks. I wasn't really surprised when David Cassidy was the first to go. Richard (Dick) Hatch is annoying and manipulative but I also thought it was funny that Cassidy was all like "Hey Mr. Trump. Dick physically abused me" when really he just kind of pushed him out of the way. And then in the boardroom Dick was being really funny and calling David 'sensitive' and 'a little man'. Do those words really describe David Cassidy? I also saw the Adjustment Bureau on Saturday night. Despite having to climb up to the second to last row with my crutches, it was an overall enjoyable experience. But if I start seeing more guys wearing Fedora's Imma be ...

That is what I am watching right now. I had my bunion surgery almost two weeks ago. That means two weeks of using crutches. I'm starting to think that this inability to walk is affecting other parts of my life. Much like Colin Firth, I have randomly started stuttering in my speech. Only difference between me and him is that I won't win an Oscar. I also have lost any balance I have ever had. I don't know if the weight of my boot is creating an imbalance or if I'm just unsteady but I almost fall over probably 30 times a day. It's awesome. Except when I accidentally fall and have to use my broken foot to steady myself and then become paranoid that I knock the SIX SCREWS the doctor put in my foot out of place. Seriously. I don't know how its possible that there are now six screws in my foot...actually, they are only in my big toe...is that normal? Was my toe that messed up? Its embarrassing. Everyone else only has one or two screws. I've been wond...