I'm going to throw down some honesty on this old blog for a hot second.
The last few weeks I've been in a serious 'I hate England' mood. It's not an unfamiliar feeling for me, as I have gone through it every time I've moved anywhere. I know myself enough to know about the time it will hit and how long it will last.
Well this time, it lasted longer than normal. I don't know exactly why, but I just felt so much animosity towards my situation here. In reality, I know there is nothing I should be complaining about, but I still felt unhappy about it. I have had frustrations with my program at the university, which escalated this week, and part of me just felt like I didn't fit in-it was like a quick rewind back to seventh grade where I used intimidation as a way of warding off any insecurities I might have had. Not fun. And very unexpected. Gah.
But then, as quickly as it came, it's as though this feeling has finally fled. The last couple days have been so good. Despite my job deciding not to extend my contract (last day of work is tomorrow!) and my program still not being ideal, I have felt so much more love for this place. It is so refreshing to be back on the positive side of life.
And I was thinking about how fast time has gone-I mean, I'm half way done here. Today I finished my second term of classes in grad school. Now, instead of only wanting to go home, I am worried about how little time I have left. I need to take advantage! This is my new goal. My love affair with England starts now.
Just in time for me to leave for a few weeks. But that's how it usually works, eh?
Feelings explosion over. Thanks for listening.
Comments